My sister Carolyn (aka “Sherry”), niece Becca, and I once found ourselves in a hospital’s “wig room”, as we called it, trying to find a decent wig for Sherry who had lost all of her hair after a recent bout of chemotherapy. What was a tough situation for all of us became a very funny exercise as we ended up laughing to tears trying on platinum blond wigs and midnight black, spiked ‘dos. Sherry was happy just wearing a scarf, but Becca was of the age where appearance is everything, so we decided on a simple, short brown piece that Sherry wore in public.
It took almost four years, but my hair finally grew long enough to donate. Cut this morning, I’m finding myself flinging my hair like a movie star, sending that extra foot of hair on its way to Locks of Love for their use in making hairpieces for kids. I did this to honor both my sister for her incredible courage over eight years fighting breast cancer and for Becca who became a wonderful, loving support for her mom during the last years.
With a master’s degree in computer education, my sister traveled throughout her state working with high schools, teaching them about the wonderful new world technology could bring to the classroom. I remember one phone call where she was so excited, having just gotten permission to show heart surgery via the internet. While I cheered with her, I secretly chuckled, glad I wasn’t watching as I had had enough trouble trying to touch that unfortunate frog I dissected back in the day.
Becca is still in high school, applying to colleges and getting ready for her senior year. I have to brag for a second: She was elected sergeant at arms of student council and co-president of the class of 2009. Most impressive of all, she began her own charity, “Carolyn Cares”, donating some of her mom’s clothes to women in need. She is working to have huge metal drop boxes (much like dumpsters, actually) for clothing donations put around Philadelphia in late August and early September. And she describes her latest project in an e-mail
For my senior project, I started working with my old student council adviser on an event called Chick Flicks: To Script the End to Breast Cancer, which is a movie night dedicated to educating women about breast cancer and how to prevent it, as well as connecting women with financial challenges to local clinics and services.
So don’t let anyone tell you that the previous generations were selfish or that next generation doesn’t care. Sherry loved the fact that I worked at AAUW, an organization spanning many generations of individuals making a difference in equity for women and girls. An AAUW member, she even made a point to spend an entire hour on her radio show highlighting our accomplishments during AAUW’s 125th anniversary. Becca, when you are ready, there’s a Give-a-Grad-a-Gift membership waiting!
[...] much smaller number. These last couple of years have been different for us as we are missing my one sister’s skill with inventing gifts out of nothing; of her cheerful singing of carols intertwined with [...]
I would never have guessed the spiral effect this small blog has had. It has been wonderful for Becca to see tributes being given to her mom and herself. It has also been amazing to hear from folks who were sent a link to this blog from a friend or another AAUW member and who contacted me personally to share their stories of facing cancer either themselves or with another family member.
To those who either wrote in or let me know directly – thank you. For those who may be reading this for the first time, please feel comfortable telling your own story here. It’s nice we can share this sense of community.
I rarely read my emails, and this is the first of Christy’s blogs that I’ve opened because it seemed that it would have something that might “speak” to me and help me with my own cancer story. My sister, too, died recently of cancer, and I remember that Christy was there for me, listening to my woes, my tears, my rails against my family who were not there for her at the end. Christy and I have been out of touch for a while (totally my fault), and I was moved to read this tribute to Sherry — and delighted that Becca has finally become the woman she was meant to be, and all the while fighting tooth and nail against it. Christy, what a wonderful story and wonderful tribute to your sister, Sherry, who will always, always be an integral part of who you are!
A lovely tribute to a life cut short.
I could never stand to grow my hair for that long… but I need to remember that there other things I can do, like knitting hats. If you can’t knit, maybe you can sew, and if you can’t sew, maybe you can make a donation to for volunteer at one of the many organizations that help those in need.
I just read your blog — what a beautiful tribute to your sister.
What a wonderful tribute, it was touching, uplifting, and inspiring!
This is a wonderful testimony of your love for your sister and niece. What a wonderful way to honor her memory. A positive side of a painful journey. Your neice has clearly inherited some “go getter” genes too!
(BTW, your hair looks great!)
I am speechless.
love