Apologies for the swear words, but that’s the first phrase that came to mind when I read several articles that centered on women as bosses this week: Carol Smith’s New York Times article, “No Doubts: Women are Better Managers,” the blog on Feministing.com lamenting this and other generalizations, or the interesting piece by John Powers on NPR, “On Hollywood’s Strong, Self-Hating Women.”
To me, it’s all about perception, generalization, and women and men occupying positions that can make change. I bet if I asked for a show of hands, nine out of 10 women would agree that their management style has at one time or another been described as “too aggressive” and/or “too conciliatory.”
I remember once setting a series of deadlines that affected both genders. My male boss pulled me into his office and told me, in essence that I should have let a man present the deadlines, since that is what’s expected. He said that my employees would complain that I was just trying to prove myself as a boss because I was a woman. Twenty years ago? No, this is a not-too-distant memory.
I believe in collaboration and often seek input from others, especially individuals who know content areas much better than I do. During a recent dinner, I was describing this method to a thirtysomething male friend of mine, who, without hesitation, said, “Oh you better not do this too often; you need to take the upper hand on decision-making.”
What?! What management school did he go to? And yet, when I asked them, women of different generations cautioned me against both tactics, focusing on the perception people have of women bosses, not the reality of what makes a good boss, man or woman.
I agree with the Feministing.com statement that “Generalizations, including generalizations based on gender, are, always have been, and will continue to be incredibly limited and simplistic ways of looking at the world (generally speaking).”
Yet women tend to be judged on generalizations about how others view their management styles. And then there are the usual ways career women are portrayed in the media, and it seems like another level of negative perception is added. As John Powers points out, “Nobody gets ruder treatment than career women, who are routinely portrayed as bossy, uptight, and utterly without personal lives. What they need, we’re supposed to think, is a man. But before they can get one, they must have a mortifying comeuppance.” Good grief.
I was recently in a workshop that asked participants who they thought were great leaders and why. While I agreed with the individuals mentioned (both men and women), I noticed no one complimented anyone on their management style. As we have all felt the impact of the poor decisions of leaders in recent years, I have to question what we are teaching about management, accountability, ethics, and decision-making to anyone, man or woman. How about we break through the perception and generalization barrier by making sure the right skills are taught, whether in college or in all those “career development” courses people take? Young women, check out AAUW’s leadership training opportunities — it’s never too early to start!
Of course, Tara, but I am so tired of women being expected to soft pedal to not hurt the make ego.
You might enjoy reading Cokie Robert’s book, Ladies of Liberty. It is refreshing to hear details about our countries early history from the pens of women.
I completely agree. It might still be harder for women to get into senior positions, but it is by no means impossible. To generalize by saying that “Women are better managers” or “Men are better managers” we don’t do ourselves any favors. The gender actually plays no significant role in the question if a manager is good or not – we’d all do well to remember this and look at skills and ability instead!