Perhaps you have heard about Hiram Monserrate, the New York state senator recently convicted of brutally assaulting his live-in girlfriend? According to reports and video surveillance footage, he cut her face with broken glass then violently dragged her through their building while she called for help. The laceration near her eye required 40 stitches. For these acts Monserrate has been sentenced to three months probation and will not serve time in jail.
Monserrate must be relieved that he wasn’t convicted of a felony and won’t have to spend time in prison thinking critically about the night he cut his girlfriend’s face. After all, as he explains, “A terrible accident occurred to my girlfriend.”
Yes, you read that correctly. He contends that what happened that night was an accident. He speaks of it almost as if he wasn’t present when it occurred, as if his hand was not the one that wielded the broken glass that slashed her face. He describes it as if what he did wasn’t that big of a deal because, ya know, accidents happen.
But here’s the thing. This was a big deal, it was not an accident, and he is to blame. Domestic violence is, in fact, a really big deal. The CDC estimates that a quarter of all women in the United States are abused or battered by their intimate partners. Attacks against women are a big deal, and they don’t happen by accident.
Right now, advocacy groups across the globe are organizing and bringing attention to the rampant problem of gender violence. The 16 Days Campaign is working to shed light on an issue that is often brushed under the rug or dismissed quietly. One huge way that we can help stop violence against women is to speak about it honestly and call it by name. Assaults aren’t accidents. So, Hiram Monserrate, please stop talking about your attack on your girlfriend as if it were something over which you had no control.
To learn more about the 16 Days Campaign, check out this website.
Ruth–Thank you for sharing your story. You’ve overcome tremendous odds. I’m happy to hear you were able to find a way out and start over. You are definitely a survivor.
I was horrified to read about Hiram Monserrate. I grew up under a physically abusive mother, and my first marriage was also abusive. My husband threw me down the stairs in the apartment when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with our first child. I ran away and slept and lived behind a gas station for three days before returning home. After our second child was born, my husband began to drink heavily and continued the physical abuse. Finally, while the children were still very young, I divorced him.
I hadn’t heard about Hiram Monserrate. Thanks Kelley for bringing attention to this very important issue. I know people who have been beaten by their husbands. Thank God they survived the violence, but they too are scarred for life.